The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
