dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
