I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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