You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
