I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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