Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
