She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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