I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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