Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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