just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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