Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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