ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
