her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Found your dick twin last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My dick has a subreddit
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize