i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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