Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
