Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
