is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
