batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize