I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
