She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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