I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
