I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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