wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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