You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
