actually, I'm a sock model
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize