Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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