is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
