i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
