Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The air taste purple.
Randomize
