tell your sister to shave her snatch
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
