Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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