i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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