honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
