I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
