I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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