I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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