I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
