I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would fuck him just for his dog
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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