this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize