i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
