This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
