there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How does it feel to date your dad?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
