I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
