East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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