I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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