I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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