i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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