so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we made out on top of his cat.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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