why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
