She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
