Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There are leaves in my underwear?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
