You made me cry and you don't even care
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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