i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
