Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
