Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
