Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He passed out mid-signature
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
