didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
