I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
