Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
